Admitting...

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

The first step. I've been thinking about this a lot today. It seems like such a no brainer, yet nothing will work in the program without taking this step. Believe it or not I've been struggling with the first part. Yes, I'm having a little bit of trouble with admitting I'm powerless over alcohol. It's hard for me to say it with certainty, especially when I've had so little difficulty (so far) with kicking it out of my life. But then again I just have to think about how things were prior to eleven days ago. Looking back it's easy to see I was definitely powerless. Alcohol pretty much dominated my day everyday. I would avoid certain places to eat if I knew they didn't have a well stocked bar or draft selection. My wife and I used to occasionally go out on the weekends, shopping at the mall or other stores and we'd often end up at a local restaurant or sports bar and the booze would be a'callin'. Football games on tv? Not fun without drinking. Hell, I've even turned down sex, sometimes, in the evening or in the morning because I felt too drunk/sleepy/fuzzy brained to want to put the effort into it. That's some major "powerlessness" right there man.

So, with that being the case it's quite evident that the alcohol most certainly made my life unmanageable. Just take a look at where I was two weeks ago. Thanks to the alcohol ruling my life, and blinding my decision making abilities, I did a few things that I'm definitely not proud of. I've neglected so many parts of my life thanks to the booze. God, it sickens me to even think about it. But I'll have to as I continue to take an inventory of my life. I know that that's important for my recovery to be real.

Okay...enough about that. I think I'll list ten things that are currently making me happy. After some events that have happened over the past hour I feel like I need to think of some fun things for a change.

1. The new show Parenthood.
2. Cooking and eating dinner with my son (and daughter too when she's here).
3. A clean house.
4. Ice water with lots of lemon and lime.
5. New friends and feeling welcomed and a part of something bigger than myself.
6. Being clear minded enough at night to be able to read in bed.
7. Head Slick shaving cream and Head Lube lotion.
8. Old friends and family.
9. Watching family sitcoms at night with my son.
10. Patricia Heaton.

It's poured down rain now for about 24 hours. The flooding is terrible. Hope it ends sometime soon.