Page 86

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.


In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.

This is a direct quote (only a small portion from the two pages) from page 86 of The Big Book. Yesterday my Sponsor suggested I begin my day each day reading these pages and meditating and such. I did this morning. The fact that I woke up at 4:15 and couldn't get back to sleep helped a little.

Then the cool thing is that today, in the Meeting, the subject of our group discussion was this very section of the Book. Weird how that stuff works out sometime. I spoke right up and told of my experience earlier in the day and then got to listen to a bunch of other peeps tell their views as well. It was awesome!

Well tonight it's just me and the boy. We went shopping for some summer clothes then had dinner together at the restaurant which happens to be the last place the wife and I ate out together. It went okay. They sat us in the bar area and at first I cringed, but it went just fine.

I'm concerned that I may be drinking too much water. I figure I'm drinking at least two gallons a day and lately I've been having a dull ache in my bladder area. Even after I pee. Maybe I should chillax a little on the aqua consumption...

There has been a few developments in the divorce proceedings. Overall it's pretty positive. I've also had several opportunities to have some good conversations with my wife. I'm feeling really good about it all. As she's been saying now for two weeks, "we're gonna be alright", and I gotta say I agree. It still feels weird, knowing it's all going to be over, but I know it's for the best. Wow, I can't believe I'm actually saying this after what all I've written in past posts. Maybe I should shut up now before I jinx things.

I am going to write about all this marriage and divorce stuff at some point. I just think I'll be able to deal with putting it down in my journal better once I'm a little further away from it, kwim?