First Sober Saturday

Today is the first Saturday that I've been sober in, well probably more than 6 years. I'm not exactly sure of that, but I wouldn't actually doubt the stat. Then again it's not yet 9am here, so I better not speak too soon.

I slept good last night. A little more than 7 hours which is longer than I've slept since this all began. I woke up feeling neither great or bad. I stepped on the scale and gasped. I weigh 229. 8 pounds less than I weighed a week ago. This weight loss has got to stop. My 36" waist clothes are already getting too big. I can no longer afford to keep buying new pants and jeans. I just don't understand it, I ate pretty well yesterday. I had a whole Chic-fil-A sandwich for lunch with fries. Last night I had a whole hamburger, mac-n-cheese and green beans. For desert I had quite a bit of brownie. Over the past 14 and a half months since I started the weight loss I always wondered if the alcohol was what was keeping me fairly steady in the losing department and not dropping the weight too fast. When I decided to stop drinking I feared that, without the alcohol calories I might lose more. It looks like that may be the case. I can't let that happen.

Thinking back to my last post here in my on-line journal I feel ashamed. It scares me that I can feel such sadness and disparaging thoughts and be stone cold sober when I do. This morning when the thoughts of her have weaseled their way into my mind I've tried to shake them off. I plan on doing that all day today. It's the evening that worries me. Tonight my daughter will be working 4-10 and it'll just be me here with my son. I need to plan some activities that can keep us (me) busy and our (my) minds on other things.

It's a beautiful day here in Alabama! The sun is out strong and soon the frost will melt off the cars. I'm going to venture into the city in an hour or so to go to a meeting. Then, once I'm home, it looks like it'll be garage cleaning and organizing day. Wow, that sounds fun...