The Weekend...

It's Monday morning, bright and early, and I got to say, this has been one helluva a weekend. So much has happened. Where to begin?

I've already written about Friday and how my wife came over for a visit so we could take care of our checking account and other finances. I've recorded how it was a nice time and how we got along just fine and cleared the air on a lot of different things. We had a nice dinner, watched some tv and talked. It was all good.

Saturday morning I woke up at early again at 4:15. I was sitting out here in the living room messing around on the computer and watching tv when, at 7am on the dot, my wife called my cell phone. I answered and could tell there was something she wanted to tell or ask me.

Over the past week or so she's been living in the house of a single mother friend of her's. This friend has really fallen on hard times and is having to go bankrupt, give up her house and car and move to Tennessee to begin a new life. She used to earn a lot of money and her house is huge and very nice. My wife has been allowed to live there with her, through the end of the month when, at that time, the bank will take back the home. Well, Saturday was the day that this friend was needing to rent a U-haul truck, load the truck with what furniture and stuff she wanted to take, and head out of state to her new home. My wife called me Saturday morning to ask two questions, and I could tell it wasn't easy for her to ask. This friend only has a few hundred dollars to her name and can't afford to get the truck. The wife asked if I'd be willing to charge the truck fees on one of my credit cards and then come and help her friend load the furniture. Evidently all of the friend's friends had bailed on helping her, other than my wife. I've been learning in AA how important it is to help others, so I jumped at the chance to do what I could.

I headed up to the house, picked up the wife and friend and we went to get the truck. The friend drove the truck on to her house and my wife and I went and got a bite of breakfast together. The conversation centered around the hard times of the friend and how thankful the wife was that I was willing to help out. After we ate we went to a part of town where men wait on the street corners to be hired for a days labor and picked up two of them. $10 an hour per guy seemed very reasonable. The wife, me and the two laborers headed to the friend's house and began about five hours of furniture moving and box packing.

After wards I came back home, cleaned up a little around the house and waited for my wife come over to watch the college basketball games. She did, but soon asked if she could go take a shower and then a nap. Well of course, it is still her house after all. I continued to watch tv and screw around on-line for the next three plus hours while she slept. When she woke up we watched about an hour of tv and then she had to go. We did spend more time talking. Talking about us, our past, the things that have happened and how optimistic she is about our individual futures. She left, asking if she could come back over on Sunday, and I ended the evening feeling good about all that had transpired throughout the day.

Sunday I was up by 7. I actually got about seven hours of sleep Saturday night. Finally! It felt good. I didn't hear anything from my wife until around 1pm. She called asking if she could come back over. She said that she had frozen last night, that she couldn't get the heat to work in the friend's house and that the hot water wasn't working either. I surmised that the friend had probably not paid the gas bill and that's probably why there wasn't any heat. Turns out I was right. My wife came over, bringing some lunch, took a bath and then went into our (now my) bedroom to take a nap.

When she woke up she began talking about how she dreads having to stay over at the friends. This week we're supposed to have some unseasonably cold weather and it's going to suck being there without any heat or hot water. I just looked her in the eye and told her that she should just stay here for the night. She's been hesitant to discuss moving back in because, as she puts it, her leaving that day was a big step for her. She has feared that coming back, or moving in again, might over rule all she's done to work her way towards being single and independent.

I looked at her and just put it all out there. I told her that it's extremely evident that we're done. We're through. We both know that being divorced is the best thing for everyone involved. I'm sober now and have changed 100% in just about every way. She's got plans for her future, good plans that involve her possibly moving back to her hometown, living with her mother and going back to work at her old job. These are all good things. Then I told her that this house and everything in it are still her's. Until the divorce is final she's entitled to the entire property. In reality she should be able to live here all she wants. Well, I suppose she agreed because she left here to go get some of her stuff from the friend's house and was back by 8pm.

We ended up watching tv, as usual, and around 10pm we went to bed. She in our master bedroom and me upstairs in the guest room. This morning I was up by 6:15 and she was already half way to being ready to leave for work. I'm not sure how long she's staying. Based on our conversations it's possible she may continue living here till the divorce is final. You know what? If she decides to do so it'll be fine with me. I can honestly say I'm okay. We've had ample time to discuss all thats happened over the past three weeks and I've had the chance to change and take the steps I've needed to heal and forgive myself for the things I've done. We're friends, and that's a good thing. I think we can do this. As she's fond of saying, "we're going to be alright".

Due to the events of the weekend I was unable to attend any AA Meetings. That kind of sucked, but I'll get back to them today. I didn't have a drop of alcohol though and I've now crossed into my 16th day of sobriety. I'm still feeling good and not craving it at all.

My kids are out this week for spring break. As of now I'll be working in town, with possibly a trip out of town around mid week. We'll see. I'm not sure I'm ready to do the hotel living thing again so soon, but I do have to get out there at some point. If not this week, next week for sure.