One Week

Today is one week of sobriety for me! Yep, one week, 168 plus hours without taking a drink of alcohol. I actually feel good about not drinking. So far (knock on wood) I haven't really been having much when it comes to cravings. Yeah there's been a couple times (noted in earlier posts) when I've felt like chugging a beer or two would be nice, but over all the desire hasn't been for alcohol.

Also, I should note, I'm feeling somewhat better about the upcoming divorce. Now when I say that, it doesn't mean I've totally come to grips with it, but you could say that I'm "managing my feelings" to an extent. Whenever thoughts of her, and my failures, come to mind I instantly try to push them out. I still have not heard a peep from her nor have I attempted to contact her either. I'm almost dreading when she does call or text me. I hope that when that happens, and I'm sure it will, I'll be able to sound nonchalant and fine with the circumstances. I know that the divorce is inevitable, that there's nothing that can change that, I just hope that at some point I'll truly be able to move on and honestly accept the things I cannot change.

So...what have I done today to celebrate my week of being dry? Well I got up at 8am. Had breakfast with my son, cleaned up a little then we headed over to Walmart to return the blinds I had bought for his bedroom window and get the right width. We came home, I did some laundry, hung his blinds, watched some tv, made lunch, ate with my son then went out to do some yard work. I'm back in from trimming branches and hauling them to the curb for pick up and it's not even yet 1pm. So now I sit here updating my journal while watching MonsterQuest on History Channel. I do intend to attend a meeting today at 4. My usual group doesn't meet on Sunday's so I'm going to go check out a different meeting a little south of here. I hope it'll be as good as the one I've been attending.

I do want to make note here that my ex wife, or first ex wife and mother to my children, has been burning up my phone lately. At this point I'm not sure if she's just trying to be friendly/helpful or possibly making a play to work her way back in. (Just as I was typing this she called and asked if I wanted her to come over and see my newly cleaned and organized garage?!) She's called at least four times already today and invited me out to breakfast and then when I told her we'd already eaten she suggested brunch. Now she's asking if I'd like to go see Alice In Wonderland with her, my daughter, her boyfriend and his mother tonight. I do appreciate her concern for me and my situation, so I'm not going to be rude. We'll see how it goes, but I don't think I need to record here for my future memory that I'm definitely not interested in any type of different kind of relationship with her.

Sigh...