Monday, March 8, 2010

Ready for Step # 1?

Today was a good day. The weather was beautiful and in the low 70's. Such a nice change after all the crappy cold we've had. I guess Spring is right around the corner. And that makes me think of all the extra work I'll have to do. I'm going to do some serious landscaping this year. I've been too lazy, or drunk, to care much about it in years past. Not so this year. I'll be a flower planting fool! Also, I'm going to cut my own grass this year for the first time in probably four. We've always hired a service to cut it, but doubt that will be an option this summer now that I'm all living on a budget and shitz.

Went to my sixth consecutive AA Meeting today. It was cool. They separated the men and women and we each had our own discussion time. I got to see some of the guys I've become friendly with and even met a couple others. It's weird to see new people, fresh from rehab or where have you, coming in for the first time. That was me 6 days ago. A lot of folks seem to remember me and come up and ask how I've been. It's nice to feel welcomed and like I'm part of something.

This afternoon the guy who has sorta taken an interest in my situation gave me a call. We had a great conversation and I discussed some of the thoughts and feelings I've been having. I mentioned how I was slightly concerned that it had been 8 days and I literally had no desire to drink. He cautioned me and said that what I was experiencing was something called "the pink cloud". It's when an alcoholic has been sober for a certain period of time and they feel like they can stay that way without any effort. Wow, I tell you...these AA folks have a term for everything!

I mentioned to him that I'd been thinking, and I felt like I was ready to dive in and begin working on the first step. I then asked if he'd consider sponsoring me. He said he would, but suggested that we have a trial run. He said that often times sponsors and sponsees may find they're not the right fit down the road, but that he'd be willing to give it a shot and begin to guide me into understanding the first step. He did say that he wanted me to call him every morning by 10am so that we could discuss the events of the upcoming day. He said that it was better to talk about stuff in advance rather than at the end of the day when it was already said and done. I agreed and definitely look forward to being guided and taught by him. He really seems like a man who has his shitz together.

The wife called me tonight after work. We had a good conversation, I think, and discussed a lot of stuff. I was able to get some answers to some questions I've had and that was something I was really needing. She's going to come over in the morning so we can sort out some bills and other financial matters. It's hard for me to believe, but I really do feel like I'm starting to get some true peace about the divorce. I've known from the beginning that it was the best thing for us both. Now I believe I can actually say that with certainty.

Was just me and the boy tonight. My daughter had to work 4-10. We ate chicken sandwiches and watched Chuck on tv. He brought home a cabbage plant from school today that he's got to tend to and raise for the next 10 weeks. That should be fun!